Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | June 28, 2010

Change: The Denial We Hide Behind

For the umpteenth time I heard someone say “I can’t change. I’ve tried and I just don’t have what it takes.” I gave them a limp smile and thought “B*@#&%~T”. I’m thinking that when all else fails, we just default to denial. It takes the pressure off; leaves us free to keep avoiding; feels safe. And in the end, we can wave our victim flag and let the world know that it’s “not our fault”. How exhausting. How boring!

Changing is NOT the problem. Our attitude about change IS. Every excuse for change is just a finely crafted exit strategy. It might well be that change, at this moment, doesn’t fit. Fine. Own it for what it is and stop whining about it. If the changes you want are gnawing at your insides then it’s time to stop lying to yourself and hiding behind denial. Do I sound a little preachy today? Am I being loud and harsh? I hope so. I’m tired of the denial that I hide behind in my own life. Tired of watching the people around me hide behind their denial.

Yes, it can take courage to change. Yes, it can take willpower. Yes, it can take much longer than most of us would like. So what? Living with a slow, steady thumping in the depth of our souls, back of our minds, shallows of our hearts is far more detrimental to our emotional, physical and spiritual health than the effort it takes to shift gears. Time moves on whether or not we do.

I tell people all the time (probably more often than they care to hear) that if you want something in your life to be different, first SEE it differently. Change your perspective and you change the challenge/problem. Change scares people. I offer retreats that boast “Change Happens Here”. People get scared. They would rather blame and complain than actually show up in their life.

Okay, I am definitely off the radar on my passion thermometer. Do I mean every word? You betcha. Will I take this message into my own life and use it? You betcha. Do I want to hold myself accountable AND hold others accountable? You betcha.

Come out from the shadows and change what you’ve been hiding from.

Women’s Wisdom Retreat

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